Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda: The Pre-SNL Years of the Lonely Island (Part 3: Awesometown)

 PILOT #3: Awesometown (May 2005)

Okay, so the biggest issue with the last two pilots were they were coming from a group of guys who had only ever made short videos online before, and in turn weren't ready to stretch their sensibility into a coherent, sitcom-length narrative. So it's actually a pretty natural and logical conclusion that for their next go-around they'd eschew narrative entirely and pivot into sketch, where their history of only making 2-3 minute shorts would be an asset and not a hindrance. 

It's worth noting that in between the last pilot and this one the guys started entering their shorts in Dan Harmon's famous Channel 101 festival, which is where they say they really started to hone in on their specific voice and style. If enough people (meaning literally anyone, I'm starving for feedback) like these articles, I'll go ahead and write an addendum piece going through the Channel 101 material. The other big thing they gained from Channel 101 along with experience was connections, as evident by Jack Black, a frequent contributor to Channel 101 shorts and collaborator of Harmon's (having worked on the infamous Heat Vision & Jack pilot, among other things), making a cameo in the pilot's cold open. Getting Black at arguably the height of his powers is certainly a coup, lending his segment the type of excitement it might not otherwise deserve. It's amusing enough, with Black playing a rude, crude version of George Washington who's here to extoll the greatness of Awesometown. Some fun is had with Black's historically inaccurate brags as Washington ("I discovered America and junk"), but the bit is mostly being sold on Black's one-of-a-kind energy. It's an enjoyably silly intro, and I understand the thought process of sliding in your big celebrity cameo up top, though I do feel like the opening scene of a show is such an important place to establish your show's vibe and voice, and all we really managed to establish up top here was "isn't Jack Black's whole shtick fun?"

After a theme song that includes pauses for both a dance break and an aggressive, profanity ridden rap verse from Jorma (a sign perhaps that these guys are still thinking more internet minded than about what would work in the confines of a weekly network sketch series), the guys come out on the main stage to address the audience. Having the leads of a sketch series come out in between sketches to riff with the audience is one of those things a lot of studio executives have in their head a show like this needs, when in reality, unless the person in question is a seasoned stand-up these bits tend to just feel awkward and flat (see: The Dana Carvey Show). "Awesometown" doesn't fare too much better with these segments, though they at least keep enough of the trio's light absurdist touch that they pass by okay. You certainly can feel how these guys (well, Jorma & Akiva specifically) aren't exactly ready to POP in front of a crowd, but they compensate for that a bit by including fun touches like Andy taking questions from the audience and then cutting to the audience to reveal himself in the crowd. Or maybe that was Ardy.

Up-top: Awesometown's "Glirk" sketch, Below: SNL's "Deserted Moon"

Our first proper sketch might actually be familiar to a lot of you, seeing as anyone who bothered to click on this is likely going to be at least somewhat familiar with the crew's SNL work. Speaking of good ol' Jack Black, on the same episode of SNL he hosted that featured "Lazy Sunday", this piece was actually revived essentially word-for-word . One of those pieces would end up slightly more well remembered than the other. Which...is pretty fair. This one ain't up to much outside a very 2000's esque gay joke at the center. Now I want to make clear before anyone potentially comes in here screaming 'woke' that it's not even that I'm particularly scandalized over the material of the sketch, its just that in both premise and execution, this one comes off rather lazy. I've certainly seen worse sketches, both in terms of quality and in how cheap and derogatory their gay material can be, but its still hard to find much praise for an Enemy Mine parody in which a hermaphroditic alien (played by Andy in both versions) repeatedly tries to seduce his fellow moon strandee (played by Jorma here and Black in the SNL version of the sketch). It's certainly an icky idea in inception, playing on the hacky comic trope of gay men aggressively pursuing any men in their vicinity, whether the men want it or not. Still, my bigger issue comes more from a lack of variety or escalation in the beats, which essentially break down as such: Andy's alien character suggests he and the spaceman have sex. The spaceman declines. Then some time passes, the alien asks again and the spaceman again declines. Then some time passes, the alien makes a cheeky reference to them having sex, and the spaceman storms off. Then some time passes, and in our first bit of proper escalation, it flashes the spaceman its glowing genitalia, and suddenly I want to go back to the place devoid of escalation. 

Since I've come down a bit on the acting skills of the non-Andy members of the group, I will say this is actually a case where I prefer Jorma's work to Black's, as Jorma is able to sell the worn down frustration of the guy a little more. Andy on the other hand, is fun enough in both versions (I enjoy his goofy exclamation of "space wine!" while intoxicated), if a hair too broad, giving his character a voice that lands somewhere between stereotypical gay lisp and Kevin McDonald. The SNL version still gets the edge for me, however, due to a moment that shows both the inherent flaw and joy of that show's concept. At the end of each version of the sketch, the alien comes to confront the spaceman once again as he tinkers on his ship to try and get off the moon. In the midst of a rant about not being able to take the spaceman's rejection anymore, the alien bangs their fist on the spaceman's space, causing it to finally boot up again. Only in the SNL version, Samberg completely shatters the prop with his pounding, leading to an all time save from Black: "You broke it, but you fixed it!" Just the type of moment you're only ever going to get in a live context like SNL, and one that kind of makes the sketch. Without it, you're just left with a semi-dated, semi-hacky bit of goofy Samberg business. The only other major difference between the sketches to note are the prosthetics and the ending. I like the makeup for both of Andy's looks here, though I slightly prefer the cleaner design of his SNL alien. As for the endings, both reveal over narration that the spaceman did in fact give in and have sex with the alien before leaving the moon, with the Black one adding the detail that his balls froze off and flew into space. The main takeaway from both versions there being that endings are hard. 

I've talked a bit in here about Jorma and Akiva's lack of charisma compared to Andy, which might be a bit unfair, but it's hard not to have that feeling reinforced when by far their most successful on-camera appearance in all three pilots is a deliberately awkward rap. "Just 2 Guyz", said awkward rap in question, is certainly the most remembered piece from this pilot, as indicated by its video on Youtube currently sitting at a cool 13 million viewers (compared to "Glirk"'s 600K) and by it spawning 3 sequels ("We Like Sportz", "We'll Kill U" & "We Need Love". "We Like Sportz" currently has 32 million viewers.) The game here is simple, the blasting techno beat and generic party-themed lyrics seem to indicate a club-banging party jam, but the whole thing is offset by the stiff, corny nature of the guys at the center of the track. Jorma & Akiva, as Guy #1 & 2, are the perfect fit for what this piece requires, both carrying themselves with the icy, emotionless demeanor of The Terminator, only if he were covered with a thick layer of flop-sweat. More than any of their pre-SNL work, this feels like a taste of what's to come with "Lazy Sunday". This piece, along with another we'll get to in a minute, pre-date the pilot, and you can feel that same lack of glossy network presentation and the pure DIY energy of a couple guys with a camera that would go on to make that short so striking when it aired. The difference is that there it's hardcore rap posturing in contrast to mundane lyrics, and here the lyrics are more generic party fare (admittedly with an occasional dip into mundanity, like the guys bragging about the quality of spinach dip available at their party) being performed with robotic deadpan. According to the lazily named but otherwise great The Lonely Island & Seth Meyers Podcast (a podcast I assume anyone reading 3 parts of a Lonely Island essay would be listening to, but if not, I highly recommend it), this whole pilot had a budget of about $70,000, a fraction of what TV pilots cost. Here, by dusting off essentially a shaggy old home movie, the guys embrace that lack of resources and come away with, much like "Sunday", something that doesn't quite feel like anything you'd see on network TV before or since.

Still, it does represent some kind of cosmic irony that even this piece, the most successful use of Akiva and Jorma across all three pilots, has its most memorable moment come from a wordless entrance from Andy. In fact, it's one of the more memorable and oft-quoted (though maybe not in public) moments across the Lonely Island's whole catalog; in which Andy races out to the pool carrying a skateboard and dopey smile, causing Akiva to break the rhyme scheme to ask "who invited Steve? That dude's a cunt." It's a risky move, dropping a "cunt" in your network TV pilot, though if any network was going to get behind that kind of attitude it'd be mid 00's FOX. That line has gone on to have an even more profound legacy, as the first thing Samberg's wife, the singer-songwriter harpist Joanna Newson, said when the two met for the first time backstage at one of her concerts was "you're Steve the cunt!" And if that ain't love at first sight, what is? 

Less successful is the "Castaways" runner, in which Andy & Akiva play two men stranded on an island (lot of strandees in this pilot, and yes I'm hoping the more I use that word the more I can convince you it exists) with long, luxurious beards; while Jorma plays the third strandee (convinced yet?) who can only grow a little stubble. Usually I'm all for a runner, but this idea really deserved about 10 seconds of screen time at best. The theme of them essentially becomes Jorma's jealousy over the other guys' facial hair, but that isn't meaningfully escalated or resolved in any way. Ironically this "Castaways" runner is one that they could have...well, you get it.

We wrap up on another trunk piece from the group, the first of 8 episodes of an O.C. parody they made for Channel 101 called "The Bu" (again, if you wanna see me cover those, drop a comment or something). While this isn't the group's most memorable outing mocking The O.C., it is still a really fun piece, and I can understand why they'd bring it over from Channel 101 to the pilot. The premise is that we're ostensibly watching a normal episode of "The Bu", Malibu's O.C. counterpart, except this episode has a special gimmick. Before the episode starts we get a visit from the "Awesometown squirrel" (changed from the "Channel 101 squirrel" in just about the only change between the two versions) Frazzles, a chipper animated squirrel voiced by (I think?) Akiva, who's sort of doing a more high pitched impression of Sandler in the famous "Cluckin' Chicken" SNL ad, arriving with a cheerful declaration of "HOOBASTANK!". Frazzles explains to us this episode of "The Bu" isn't like any other, because this one is presented in 3-D!

It's a fun concept, and has me wondering if the other 7 episodes of this they produced are similarly based around finding whacky framing devices or if they're more just straight teen-soap parodies. I certainly prefer the former approach, in part due to me simply not being that familiar with the show/genre being parodied and also because I think it just allows for a greater variety of gags. It definitely leads to one of the better bits of escalation across all three pilots here. We start with a melodramatic conversation between our two heartthrob leads, played by Jorma and guest star Sarah Chalke (another impressive pull, as this is probably around the peak of Scrubs' popularity). As the two are having a tense conversation about their relationship issues and the unresolved death of Jorma's brother, Frazzles pops up in the bottom of the screen to alert the audience it's time to put their glasses on. The screen gets blurry, and the two start wildly pointing and gesticulating to camera. The scene is allowed to continue on, and a charged moment between Sarah & Jorma leads them to go to kiss each other...only to be interrupted by Frazzles. Jorma then pauses to pull out a lighter and flick its flame towards camera, saying how it mirrors the "spark" between them. Sarah then asks Jorma if he wants more coffee, holding the mug to camera as she asks. The actors try to continue the scene, only for Frazzles to once again pop up in the corner of the screen, demanding the audience put their glasses on. When the actors react to this with silent protest, Frazzles keep screaming "glasses on!" at them, eventually causing them to break and give in after a particularly aggressive "GLASSES FUCKING ON!" Then once they've given in, Frazzles immediately pops up in the bottom to go "glasses off!" before the actors can even do anything. 

All of that is super fun business, and fortunately the other big change we get between this and the Channel 101 version is this one has a much better idea of when to bow out. In both versions we get the kinda blah joke of Jorma's actor finally breaking down and saying how he doesn't deserve this, he went to Juilliard, which the squirrel responds to by tossing a dress at him and going, "you gonna act like a bitch, you gonna look like a bitch." A bit of lame joke, but at least they trim the entirely unnecessary extra 30 seconds the Channel 101 version gives us, in which Frazzles threatens the duo, then reveals he was joking, then everyone does an extended fake laugh, and then Frazzles offers them cocaine. It's a pretty dumb moment that I'm glad they had the foresight to cut. 

This is certainly the most fully formed of the pilots, representing, for better or worse, a pretty accurate picture of what we'd end up getting from the group in years to come. Scattershot material, often charming, sometimes far too obsessed with their pee pees. I'm obviously glad it ultimately wasn't picked up, as that led the boys on the path to SNL, but I certainly wouldn't be mad if we had a bunch of these lying around. Still, this pilot really does reinforce what a perfect fit being a part of a larger ecosystem like SNL was for the group. These are internet boys at heart -- give them 2 minutes a week to fill and you'll get the best results out of them. But it's not like you'll get bad results if you ask for more, as this (or, yes, their two very funny full-length films) shows. This is both mostly inessential and generally fun (remember how our friend Glirk taught us things can be multi-faceted?) As a full piece it works well enough without being something I'd tell anyone to rush to check out, but as a time capsule for both the mid aughts and a group right on the precipice of taking off, it certainly has its charms.

CONSENSUS? A lot of fun, if pretty obviously created by some exceptionally juvenile guys steeped in early 00's internet culture. In other words? The Lonely Island are HERE, baby!

CONCLUSION 

So what was the point of all of this? Why dedicate a series to the unaired pilots of comedy greats? Well, I'm embittered by my own lack of success and want to point and laugh at the relative failures of people more successful than I could ever dream of being. I mean thought that was obvious, it's a little embarrassing I had to break that down for you guys. But beyond that, I think it is worth examining the whole catalog, warts and all, of people who become wildly successful. Much in the way you can learn just as much if not more from your own failures than you can your successes, you can understand even more what makes something special by watching the same person or people attempt something similar to mixed or even outright disastrous results. Now nothing here approached disastrous, which is fortunate for The Lonely Island, but perhaps unfortunately for readers who like seeing their reviewers suffer. Maybe next time I'll watch, like, all the Larry the Cable Guy films. (Editor's note: I'm not actually doing that.) Usually the true disasters come once you've already climbed the mountain, and you're either trying to challenge yourself by fundamentally playing against your strengths (see: North) or you're just trying to recapture the old magic you used to have to increasingly flavorless results (see: the rest of Rob Reiner's career following North). Here though, when you're young and hungry, you may misstep and give us something kinda ill-defined and dumb like an alien with a space penis and space vagina who wants to get it on, but there's an earnestness to the material (yes, even the piece I just described) that keeps it from ever completely falling apart. To the group's immense credit, too, outside some real dud Digital Shorts (something that's bound to happen when you produce over 100 in 7 years), they've really never come close to giving us something of a disaster on that scale. While that could certainly still happen and they make a 3 hour musical about a man with a magic penis (actually wait, shit, greenlight it), I think it does speak to that earnestness I was talking about. It's something at the core of all their work; even as the Digital Shorts got bigger and more overproduced, and started to lose a little bit of their unique flavor. There was still that juvenile, off-kilter center that made them feel of a piece with the group's other work. So much of comedy can be so cynically constructed, but even at their worst, you never get the sense The Lonely Island are doing much but trying to make each other laugh.

WHAT'S NEXT? Well, if you've read along for three articles about the obscure origins of The Lonely Island, it's safe to assume you enjoy the exploits of idiotic man-children. Why not explore the career of arguably the most successful man-child of all?! No, not Sandler (though I'll write extensively about him one day, don't worry). My next article series will be on The Sequels of Jim Carrey. Join me as I journey through Hollywood's various unsuccessful attempts at following up huge Jim Carrey vehicles, very often without bringing back the man himself. Iconic characters, Hollywood hubris & Jamie Kennedy looking like Shrek & Conan's anemic love child. This series will have it all! Come back soon for my article on the Ace Ventura character, or you're be a ... like the opposite of a cool guy. I wish there was a good word for that....

Special Thanks: This Splitsider article was a big help in writing this. Don't Somerton me!